The Lightning Flash

I have a notebook in my desk drawer, which is filled with little scribblings of ideas I have for stories.  Some of these date back years, others are more recent.  They are nearly all drawn from some quirky little way of looking at things from an alternate angle, or a play on words, or a phrase taken out of context that gets the creative gears turning.  It’s from this notebook that I’ll select an appealing idea for my next piece of writing.

When I have finished writing a novel and am in the process of editing it – as I am at the moment, having recently finished penning Vicars and Tarts – I will start turning the next idea chosen from the notebook over in my head, devising characters appropriate to the scenario, and so forth.  It soon reaches a stage where I have a basic plot, setting and characters.

I keep turning these things around in my mind, always working on them in the background, slowly ‘cooking’ them until they’re done.  Then there will come that sublime moment when the microwave ‘pings’.


It’s a moment I’ve come to call the ‘lightning flash’ of inspiration.  It’s when the emerging idea really comes to life.  After turning the root ideas around in my mind, I know that I can rely upon my subconscious to step in and deliver the goods!

At a moment when my mind is absorbed in something trivial, perhaps washing the dishes or taking a shower, there will be a sudden exhilarating surge and the story will unfold before me in all its glory!  Whole new situations, events and characters will arise seemingly out of nowhere to populate the sparse idea, making it real and vital, springing into life from the deep places of my mind.  This is creativity in its purest essence.

My next novel will be a horror.  It’s to be titled The Waters of Life.  Up until this morning, I had the idea of a bishop’s tomb, from which a healing spring flows.  But there is an entity which feeds upon the sickness taken by the waters, taking loathsome life to itself.  I had the vague ideas of an investigative reporter, a church reluctant to admit to past wrongs and a community sickening as the entity takes on shape and form.

Now, after a deluge from my subconscious whilst making coffee this morning, those vague basics have been fleshed out into a complete, coherent story.  I have characters with names and personal histories, arising from the deep places fully formed.  I have a secret order of monks; I have gangsters; I have bribery, corruption and violence; I have a movie set for an exploitation film with strippers masquerading as nuns; I have delusion and self-sacrifice; and behind it all, I have the foulest, most horrifying villain imaginable.  I have all that I need to write a hard-hitting, gritty, exciting and truly chilling, stomach-churning horror novel.

I don’t know if other writers experience anything similar.  I just know that whenever I offer ideas up to my subconscious, turning them over and over in my mind as offerings to it, it will always deliver the goods!


Discounted Damsels

Following the recent publication of Damsels and the Dark Arts, there are now four main novels and one spin-off novel in the Damsels range, which means it’s reached that awkward age where it starts to be intimidating for new readers to come on board.  Which would be a terrible shame, as everybody needs some Damsels in their life!

To make things a little easier, I’ve decided to have a little promotion on Kindle, so that the earlier titles can be snapped up cheaply and easily, allowing the smut, filth and belly laughs to flow as they should.  So … Here’s the deal …

Rampant Damsels

Rampant Dames cover finish

The world’s first ever gutter fantasy novel, in which a group of lusty, violent, perverted women must uncover enemy spies and thwart a plot to assassinate the city’s Duke.  With booze, sordid sex, necromancy, demons, pixie flashers, inflating bottoms, disembowelments and a choose-your-own-adventure chapter to navigate a depraved dungeon and defeat a demon lord!  There’s a little trailer for Rampant Damsels on Youtube here.

From 8.00am on 7 November 2015 till 11.00pm on 10 November 2015, the Kindle edition of Rampant Damsels will be absolutely FREE.  Get it here.

Damsels in Arms


Although the assassination plot has been thwarted, the city is under siege by an army intent upon rape and pillage.  All citizens, including the Damsels, are recruited to help with the defence.  Includes exploding lavatories, dirty old men in maids’ uniforms, sausages, hot pixie sex, and a Weapon of Ass Destruction.  Plus a choose-your-own-adventure chapter in which you must rescue a maiden from cruel kidnappers.  There’s a trailer for Damsels in Arms here.

Between 8.00am on 7 November 2015 and 11.00pm on 12 November 2015, Damsels in Arms is reduced in price to only 99p / 99c.  Get it here.

Damsels Go Down

Damsels go down cover kindle

Relocating to an idyllic country village where winter never happens sounds like a great idea.  Not when it involves goblins, zombies, giant hedgehogs, elder gods, tentacles,cannibals, tent show revivalists, wicker sacrifices and more anal fixation than you can shake a todger at!  But there are also dozens of hot elf girls and the obligatory choose-your-own-adventure chapter, which this time relives a day in the life of a temple prostitute!

Between 8.00am on 7 November 2015 and 11.00pm on 12 November 2015, Damsels Go Down is reduced in price to only 99p / 99c.  Get it here.

Auld Bobby Bob’s Campfire Tales For Kiddywinks


In this spin-off, disgusting old boozer Auld Bobby Bob is given the task of keeping the children entertained.  He does this by telling them tales of his younger days, when he was a thieving, backstabbing towrag of an adventurer.  His tales include goblins, wizards, vampires, terrifying trousers, orc invasions, weregoats and sets more bad examples for kids than one man should be capable of.  Includes a choose-your-own-adventure chapter in which Bobby crosses the desert to locate an ancient, unplundered tomb.

Between 8.00am on 7 November 2015 and 11.00pm on 12 November 2015, Auld Bobby Bob’s Campfire Tales For Kiddywinks is reduced in price to only 99p / 99c.  Get it here.

Damsels and the Dark Arts

dames and the dark arts cover with titles

And if that isn’t enough, here’s the latest, freshest, most depraved and tasteless instalment yet for you!  The Damsels assist in the construction of a new city, only to be betrayed and catapulted through all manner of weird dimensions, meeting their alternate selves crewing a spaceship.  With wizards, bitch queens, testicles of various sizes, dildo manufacturers, brothels, necromancy and the total destruction of good taste.  The Damsels are back and have never been dirtier!

Damsels and the Dark Arts is not currently discounted, but it’s still a blistering good read at a cracking good price, only £1.99 / $3.02.  You can get it here.

But don’t forget that if you subscribe to KINDLE UNLIMITED, ALL the Damsels book are FREE to read PERMANENTLY!

To recap, here are the links to get the books at the reduced rates during the promotion dates:

Rampant Damsels

Damsels in Arms

Damsels Go Down

Auld Bobby Bob’s Campfire Tales For Kiddywinks

Damsels and the Dark Arts